Jokes #4

Lying on a test

There were two men who went into a company to apply for the same job in a factory in Dublin, Ireland. One was an Irishman and the other was an Irish-American.

The supervisor said, “I’m going to give both of you a test. Whoever gets the best score on the test will get the job.”

The two men went off to another room to take the test.

The supervisor collected the tests when each man finished. He went over them then called the men into his office one at a time. When he talked to the native Irishman he said, “I’m afraid I had to give the job to the Yank.” The native Irishman replied, “I can’t believe it! I’m from this country. I should have the best chance. What makes him have a better chance?”

The supervisor explained, “Well, on question #28, the Yank wrote down, ‘I don’t know,’ and you wrote down on your test, ‘I don’t know either!'”

Proverbs 21:6  The getting of treasures by a lying tongue is a vanity tossed to and fro of them that seek death.

Bubba knows everybody

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone

there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Bubba how

about Tom Cruise?”

“Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. ” So Bubba

and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and

sure enough, Tom Cruise, shouts, “Bubba! Great to see you! You and

your friend come right in and join me for lunch! “

Although impressed, Bubba’s boss is still skeptical. After they

leave Cruise’s house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba’s knowing

Cruise was just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else,” Bubba says.

“President Clinton,” his boss quickly retorts.

“Yes,” Bubba says, “I know him, let’s fly out to Washington.”

And off they go. At the White House, Clinton spots Bubba on the tour

and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Bubba, what a surprise, I

was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in

and let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up.” Well, the boss is

very shaken by now, but still not totally convinced.

After they leave the White house grounds, he expresses his doubts to

Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else.

“The Pope,” his boss replies. “Sure!” says Bubba.

“My folks are from Poland, and I’ve known the Pope a long time.”

So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the

masses in Vatican Square when Bubba says, “This will never work. I

can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I

know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on

the balcony with the Pope.” And he disappears into the crowd headed

toward the Vatican. Sure enough, half an hour later Bubba emerges

with the Pope on the balcony. But by the time Bubba returns, he

finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by

paramedics.Working his way to his boss’ side, Bubba asks him, “What happened?”

His boss looks up and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope

came out on the balcony and the man next to me said, “Who’s that man on

the balcony with Bubba?”

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